Day 10: Something you're afraid of

I actually wrote a post about this almost exactly a year ago. Nothing has changed much since then when it comes to my fears so I am going to post the same thing I wrote then, again.

What am I afraid of? Have I conquered any of my fears? And the answer is...well I am scared of Clowns, that'll probably never change. I find them utterly disturbing. I'm not very fond of rats...or any kind of rodent-like animal fro that matter. I mean Guniea-Pigs and Hamsters makes me queasy...they are basically rats with shorter tails, right? Porcelain Dolls creep me out(it's the eyes). And well...snakes aren't on my favorite things list- So yeah, I am a scaredy-cat. No doubt about that.

But I have conquered one of my biggest fears. When I was younger than I am today I used to be (excuse the following pun) deathly afraid of...well death.
If someone even mentioned death I got this unpleasant feeling at the pit of my stomach. I wanted to throw up and just not listen anymore. I used to wish for time to go slower so I wouldn't near the unavoidable fate that awaited me. But it wasn't just my own death that scared me, no it was everyone elses too. I visibly winced at the thought of losing a grandparent or anyone near me. That's not any way to live, is it?
But I got over it...and believe it or not it had alot to do with the film; Tuck Everlasting. And no that was not sarcasm I am comepletley serious here. The movie is basically about a family that are immortal, to keep it short. But that's not what made me think, no it's one line in the movie. That one line struck a cord in me. I quote; Don't be afraid of death. Be afraid of the unlived life.
That got me thinking. Why should I fear something that will happen? And I relized that I would never be able to live my life to the fullest if I feared death.
So I simply...stopped. Easy as that. I started using my head. I thought about it and that's one of the reasons to why I see life the way I see it now. Live life your way. Take one day at a time. That sort of thing...

Alot of our fears are comepletley irrational. Like my fear of Clowns but it's not like it's hurting me, like my fear of death did. So I'll just keep on being creeped out by Clowns and rodents. Just for the hell of it.

December = The Month of Gift Giving.

True, right? But December is also the month of; I'm-Freaking-Out-Because-I-Don't-Know-What-To-Get-Anybody.

Giving gifts, is fun. I like it alot but there one huge problem. My imagination may be absolutley brilliant when it comes to writing fictional stories or weird names for titles to my blog posts but when it comes to presents...Well, that talented mind seems to dissapear and all that is left is a bunch of confused neanderthal noises like; Uuuh, uugh, baaah...and the ultimate line; I dunno.

Each year I stand at the shops looking at the shelves confused. Because I have no idea of what to get anybody. So eventually I grap something crappy that I am not at all saticfied with at the last freaking minute. You know that present that makes you want to cringe as you see the person in question unwrapping the paper. Yeah, that gift.

But this year is going to be different. I've promised myself that much. Because this year I'm going to start relatively early with the gift-shopping. This weekend, the S.A.*  and I are going Christmas Shopping. And I've made a promise to myself to atleast try and get all the gifts done on Saturday. I sure hope I'll succeed. I actually have two done already, I feel proud.

I'm also going to try and not end up looking like that or freaking out and bursting into tears of frustration. Bloody Hell. Speaking of that cuss in praticular, I saw HP 7 Part One last night. Honestly? Alot better than I thought it would be. The world sure is full of surprises.

Over and Out.

*I guess I should stop calling him "The S.A." because he isn't exactly secret anymore is he...I'll think about it.

Fears, John Mayer and Band Hero?

Greetings Mortal Stalkers.

Today I have been trying to master Band Hero, lame I know but I think it's loads of fun. I sit there trying to hit the right notes on level EASY while Dweeb2# points out that he could do it better with the HARD level. I decided that I should be the bigger person and ignored him. How grown up of me.

I read something about fears today and it got me thinking...
What am I afraid of? Have I conquered any of my fears? And the answer is...well I am scared of Clowns, that'll probably never change. I find them utterly disturbing. I'm not very fond of rats...or any kind of rodent-like animal fro that matter. I mean Guniea-Pigs and Hamsters makes me queasy...they are basically rats with shorter tails, right? Porcelain Dolls creep me out(it's the eyes). And well...snakes aren't on my favorite things list- So yeah, I am a scaredy-cat. No doubt about that.

But I have conquered one of my biggest fears. When I was younger than I am today I used to be (excuse the following pun) deathly afraid of...well death.
If someone even mentioned death I got this unpleasant feeling at the pit of my stomach. I wanted to throw up and just not listen anymore. I used to wish for time to go slower so I wouldn't near the unavoidable fate that awaited me. But it wasn't just my own death that scared me, no it was everyone elses too. I visibly winced at the thought of losing a grandparent or anyone near me. That's not any way to live, is it?
But I got over it...and believe it or not it had alot to do with the film; Tuck Everlasting. And no that was not sarcasm I am comepletley serious here. The movie is basically about a family that are immortal, to keep it short. But that's not what made me think, no it's one line in the movie. That one line struck a cord in me. I quote; Don't be afraid of death. Be afraid of the unlived life.
That got me thinking. Why should I fear something that will happen? And I relized that I would never be able to live my life to the fullest if I feared death.
So I simply...stopped. Easy as that. I started using my head. I thought about it and that's one of the reasons to why I see life the way I see it now. Live life your way. Take one day at a time. That sort of thing...

Alot of our fears are comepletley irrational. Like my fear of Clowns but it's not like it's hurting me, like my fear of death did. So I'll just keep on being creeped out by Clowns and rodents. Just for the hell of it.

But enough of that. Now the song Stop This Train by John Mayer. Because I think it represents my thoughts alot. Because lets face it people, He's not singing about an actual train. I think he's singing about life, about getting older and not wanting that and in another way wanting it and about dying. I never feared getting older just what getting older led to-Nothing. Maybe we get reincarnated? Maybe we go to Narnia, who knows? But why should we fear it?
I love the line-I hate the speed it's going in-becuse that's how I feel. I may not fear the unavoidable anymore but I still think that my life is going by way too fast.

Over and Out.