Monday this week doesn't just begin a new week but a new month. Wicked? Not really. February to me has always been apretty well...boring month. It's got what, Valentines Day? A day I really don't get at all. Well sure it's great to honour romance and love and friendship and what not. But must we really endure all the pink and the hearts and the...fluffy-ness? Don't get me wrong, I am a hopeless romantic and love fluffy romance to a certain degree. Valentines just...well some people over-do it. It's nauseating.
I have felt rather...creative today. Had a day off which meant that I didn't do anything at all. Basically. I did write alot on some of my unfinished works...and the words just keeps coming. I can't seem to stop this flow of words that are bursting out of my brain down to my typing fingers and saved onto my harddrive.
For a litterature/writing-geek like me it's like having an epiphany. I can't even describe what it feels like to barely be able to think the words before they are typed down on the virtual paper.
It's like my brain and my fingers are working together in such a fast pace that the part of my brain that sometimes struggles to find words doesn't even try to keep up. It's an euphoric feeling. When I'm in one of "my moods", as my brother so dearly refeers to it as, you can barely reach me. It's like I enter a part of my mind...my soul that I don't use every day and the imagination just flows.
Basically; I enter La-La-Land, Narnia, Neverland, My own personal Haven of Wickedness without any intention of returning to the
With me, I bring inspirational music, any kind of sugar filled becverage I can find (=Sugar High) and with that I get lost in my own imagination. Surrounded by my other selves and characters my wicked mind has created.
I literally free fall into my own insanity. I enter a place no other person would live through visiting; The Deepest Darkest Place of my Mind. A place not even I can fully comprehend.
It's calming, relaxing to just leave reality for a couple of hours and immerse myself in my my own imagination. It's one of the greatest most soothing feelings in the world. And I don't think that just anyone can do that. Dissapear into themselves so deeply that the surrounding world doesn't exsist anymore. No longer is reality a fact or real it's a world beyond the one you have immersed yourself in. A world noone but you can enter. A world revolving around you, your thoughts, dreams and imagination. Everyone should have a place like that. their own safe haven. Their own personal Neverland.
I know I love my Neverland. I don't enter it every day...not even every week but when I do. Don't expect me to re-appear in the "real-world" for a while.
But one must be careful. Immerse yourself in your own world for too long and you might get stuck there. Stuck in a alternate-reality that may seem like heaven at first, but stay there for too long and it might turn into your very own personal hell. Your imagination is a powerful thing, some people have a stronger one then others. If this is good or bad I think I'll leave to Freud and his minions to figure out.
I read somewhere that the first sign of madness is talking to yourself. But I say that everyone has a healthy portion of insanity tucked somewhere inside them, some just show it more then others.
I've never claimed to be sane or normal, and I probably never will. But like I said; it's healthy to be slightly insane. Striving to be normal might just reduce you into some sort of non-healthy state of mind. ...
I am very content in my own insane state of mind.
And on that note I leave you to once again enter my own Neverland; where anything can happen and just like Peter Pan and The Lost Boys...you don't have to grow up or think about grown-up things if even...just for a little while.
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