Day 10: Something you're afraid of

I actually wrote a post about this almost exactly a year ago. Nothing has changed much since then when it comes to my fears so I am going to post the same thing I wrote then, again.

What am I afraid of? Have I conquered any of my fears? And the answer is...well I am scared of Clowns, that'll probably never change. I find them utterly disturbing. I'm not very fond of rats...or any kind of rodent-like animal fro that matter. I mean Guniea-Pigs and Hamsters makes me queasy...they are basically rats with shorter tails, right? Porcelain Dolls creep me out(it's the eyes). And well...snakes aren't on my favorite things list- So yeah, I am a scaredy-cat. No doubt about that.

But I have conquered one of my biggest fears. When I was younger than I am today I used to be (excuse the following pun) deathly afraid of...well death.
If someone even mentioned death I got this unpleasant feeling at the pit of my stomach. I wanted to throw up and just not listen anymore. I used to wish for time to go slower so I wouldn't near the unavoidable fate that awaited me. But it wasn't just my own death that scared me, no it was everyone elses too. I visibly winced at the thought of losing a grandparent or anyone near me. That's not any way to live, is it?
But I got over it...and believe it or not it had alot to do with the film; Tuck Everlasting. And no that was not sarcasm I am comepletley serious here. The movie is basically about a family that are immortal, to keep it short. But that's not what made me think, no it's one line in the movie. That one line struck a cord in me. I quote; Don't be afraid of death. Be afraid of the unlived life.
That got me thinking. Why should I fear something that will happen? And I relized that I would never be able to live my life to the fullest if I feared death.
So I simply...stopped. Easy as that. I started using my head. I thought about it and that's one of the reasons to why I see life the way I see it now. Live life your way. Take one day at a time. That sort of thing...

Alot of our fears are comepletley irrational. Like my fear of Clowns but it's not like it's hurting me, like my fear of death did. So I'll just keep on being creeped out by Clowns and rodents. Just for the hell of it.

Day 7: Favorite Movie

Oh Boy. 

The fact that I love movies is by no means a secret. So how can I choose one? Well, I really can't because I have so many favourite movies that I'd be here for days if I even tried to write about all of them. And that is sadly not an overstatement.

So what movie did I choose after alot of thinking.
I want to say I chose a really cool cult movie like Donnie Darko, but I didnt.
I want to say that I chose Trainspotting, because it's psycological and really strange and weird, but I didn't.
I didn't even choose a movie starring Johnny Depp. Surprising, I know.
No I chose a movie that I will never tire of watching, no matter how many times I've seen it.

I chose...Rob Reiner's Stand by Me.

This is what I wrote about it on Flixster;

(First Lines) " I was 12 going on 13 the first time I saw a dead human being. It happened in the summer of 1959 - a long time ago, but only if you measure in terms of years. I was living in a small town in Oregon called Castle Rock; there were only twelve hundred and eighty-one people, but to me it was the whole world."

The movie is about a man who after finding out about his friends tradgic death writes down their story. A story about the best summer they ever had together. The summer the four best friends, Gordie(The writer), Chris,Teddy and Vern set out to find the corpse of a boy that has gone missing. We follow them through their journey and watch the adventure of their lives...well, any 12 year old going on 13 would think of it as an adventure... I love this movie. It's a cute movie about friendship. The boys are over-dramatic and funny...and you just cant help but laugh with them...and feel sorry for them. And the Cobras...those guys should have their own movie x) I love Ace and Eyeball... It's a very simple movie...but it is truly amazing. Definitley worth watching...  

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"

I love this movie. And I will never stop loving it and I've seen it too many times to count. 

Day 5: A song to match your mood

I know, I know. I've missed two days. But in my defence two days ago was Christmas Eve, and that night I got sick. So yesterday was spent laying on the couch, feeling awful. Yeah, ew.



I chose John Mayer's Who Says, because I love the song and the lyrics are just so brilliant. I've loved it since I heard it but now everytime I hear one of those last fraises; plan a trip to Japan alone...I think of S. for...well it's an inside thing.
And it kinda describes my mood right now. Which is tired, missing S., slightly bored and thoughtful. 

Over and Out.

Day 4: Your parents.

Mommy and Daddy, eh?

Well I've always gotten along pretty well with both my parents. They're not very intimidating, nervreckingly strict and they don't have these overwhelming demands or expectations. Now when I'm older I almost see them as friends more then my parents actually. Well not exactly like friends but differently then I did, say 5 years ago?

Mom.

My mom is Super-Mom. She can do everything, and when I say everything I actually mean every. single. thing.
She is also really good at cooking. There's nothing better then Mom's homecooked anything. Sincerely.
My mom and I get along fairly well, we're pretty different souls and think alot differently so occasionally we do butt heads. But most of the time we get along, like only mother-and-daughter can.

Dad.

I figure I am closer to my dad because we are so alike in so many ways. Which is why we get along so well but that is also why we argue sometimes. But my dad and I have always had this conecction, we just get eachother.
My Dad works alot, and he doesn't get enough credit for it.

That's my parents in a nutshell.

Borrowed from we

Day 3: Your first love

My first love. Well upon reading that title my thoughts immediatley went to fourth grade. Because then I had the first crush I can remember. His eyes were brown (already way back then Brown Eyes had some sort of power over me!), he was cute and we totally had a connection. He would jump outta nowhere and scream "Boo!", I would squeak in a (what I thought was) cute way and then pretend to be angry about it. It was cute. It was silly and rather pathetic. Puppy-Love-ish. But then again we were 10 years old.



I have a thing for Tatty Teddy, if you hadn't noticed.

 Over the years I've had too many crushes to count both on people in my surroundings and celebrity/fictional ones. But love...not really. I mean sure I've had flings, roller-coaster-in-the-moment-like flings, sure I've done those. But an actual relationship with actual feelings involved? No. Well not until now.

The S.A., whom from this moment on shall be known as simply; S. (because ironically his name begins with an S *giggles*) has without doubt tugged on my heartstrings.

The first time I saw him, as you probably recall, was on a Blind Date. I was nervous, so nervous that I feared I would throw up or something just as disgusting but then...I saw him. And I just...kindof...knew. I know it sounds silly but that's what it was like.
We all know about attraction, I mean it has to be something there for a relationship to work, but I do try to base all (romantic or not) my relationships on personality.

But when I saw S. for the first time, the first thought that went through my head was; "Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?".
I took in the tattoos, the goatee, those brown eyes and I was stunned, how could he be so much my type? Then when we started talking I just knew that I  liked him. We are so alike in so many ways that it actually freakes me out sometimes.
But that inital moment, that first thought, that feeling of my heart skipping a beat will probably always be etched into my mind.
I'm not inlove with him, yet. I have only known him for...well over a month now actually but still. But I do know that I like him, alot. And life without him would be awfully strange.

So there you have it, maybe not really what you were hoping for in the "First Love" post, but this is what I have to type on the matter.

Peace Out.

Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name.

The Wallflower Diaries was something that me, myself and I came up with one day when we were bored.

Wallflower came from, well I've always considered myself somewhat a Wallflower. I'm very quiet, calm and shy sometimes.
Diaries was just something that seemed fitting, since this is kindof an online, very public Diary.

Apparently there's an actual flower named wallflower or something.

  

It looks like this.

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts

Recent Picture; Halloween 2010.

Hey You!

My first Challenge is to introduce myself, so here goes nothing.


My name is Charlotta, I am 20 years old and I live in this small town that barely makes the maps.

 The diploma I got from school tells me I'm a Cosmetician so that's what I do for a living, I work at a Spa which is great.
On my spare time (aka when I'm not working my arse off),
the dork in me likes to read, write, listen to music and watch movies and later rant about them endlessly. I also consider myself a borderline Shopaholic because I just love buying clothes. I'm not a fashionista, believe me far from it but I really like to dress up in different outfits. Shoes and bags are my guilty pleasures.
But most of all I love hanging out with my awesome friends. And I spend alot of my time with the S.A. (Read This if you're lost and don't get it) as well, of course.

That's kind of me in a nutshell, I think. If you want more just  check out the About a Girl page.




And Now the 15 (Not-So)Interesting Facts.

1. I am afraid of Clowns.
2. I don't eat Green Candy.
3. I'm hopelessly inlove with Johnny Depp.
4. Rock, Metal, Alternative music makes my heart beat faster but I do have a soft spot for John Mayer.
5. My toenails has not been nailpolish-free since I was 13.
6. I have a really bad memory.
7. The word I use too much is; What?
8. I think tattoos are hot.
9. I am a hopeless Romantic.
10. Procastinating is my speciality.
11. I have issues with the word No.
12. I sometimes read Poetry, because Dead Poets Society made it cool.
13. I quote Barney Stinson alot.
14. I have many fictional-crushes.
15. And last and least; My favorite color is purple.

The 30 Day Challenge.

So I've seen this "30 Day Challenge" all over the Blogverse. And since I've been suffering from the worst case of the feared Writers Block. Yeah, I know. It sucks. I've decided to try it. 

I shall write one post each day with a specific topic. So I hereby challenge myself to write a post for 30 days strait, starting tomorrow. And here I give you my Day-to-Day Challenge. Wish me Luck!

Day 0: The 30 Day Challenge Explanation and Description.
Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts
Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3: Your first love
Day 4: Your parents
Day 5: A song to match your mood
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
Day 11: Favorite tv shows
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
Day 13: Goals
Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?
Day 15: Bible verse
Day 16: Dream house
Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat
Day 19: Something you miss
Day 20: Nicknames
Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
Day 22: What's in your purse?
Day 23: Favorite Movie
Day 24: Something you've learned
Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in
Day 28: Something that stresses you out
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

♥

 I'm in a cute mood again. This post has really no meaning, at all. I just thought this was so cute.

I totally borrowed this from; http://weheartit.com/

I did an Agyness...well almost...

Remember the post when I rambled on and on about hair? The one where I mentioned that Agyness Deyn had shaved practically all her hair off, and the media called it "doing a Britney"? Yeah that one.
Well most of my hair is now gone. This is one of my shortest haircuts...ever. And it's awesome. But enough bragging about that.

Today I've been running all over the place ad now, when I've finally calmed down, I have no idea what I should do. Crazy, isn't it? As you can see I also seem to have an obsession with changing the look of the Blog, I personally like the way it's looking now. But I'm still changing some things...It's a work in progress ;).

I've also noticed that I've been posting a whole lot of videos lately so why not do that again x) Here's Kasabian's, which by the by is one awesome band, Vlad The Impaler. WARNING; very strange video.

Introducing...

...The Wallflower Diaries.

According to the Urban Dictionary a Wallflower is; a type of loner. seemingly shy folks who no one really knows. often some of the most interesting people if one actually talks to them.

That's true to a certain degree I think. And I'm not even sure why I picked that name but it just fit somehow. Because I am and always have been sort of a Dork and kind of a wallflower. So this new name and image suits better than the old one I think. The link has not changed, the contest probably wont either. But the whole feel of it has, atleast to me.

It's still unders construction though...new headers and whatnot. 

Peace Out!

And now a really nice song by Jack's Mannequin; Dear Jack.

Bad Little Blogger...

I've been such a bad little Blogger lately, haven't I? But to be honest I haven't had the time or want to write. Time because I've been so busey lately and want because I've had writers block ever since CH left us. I know that sounds pathetic but it took be by surprise and I've just been...blaah...lately. Crappy Stuff that is.

Anywho, not much to report. Haven't heard anything from Eddie. I miss him. It's strange how addicted I am to my car. Seriously I feel so lost without him. Ew.

Peace Out!

Tuesday apparently means...

...Let's try to drown Finland in snow-day. Yeah. It's snowing. Again. Fuck. That was pretty much my thoughts this very not so beautiful mornin. Beautiful my...ehrm, right.

Anyway. Earlier today I went to the gym. We had Body Pump, you know that refreshing, almost deadly form of exercise. I seriously thought that my legs were going to fall off at one point. I am seriously ridiculously out of shape. I really need to get my act together and start doing something. And well...stop stuffing junkfood into my mouth. Okay, so I haven't really tried to clog my blood vessels with the fat-tiest(?!) food I can lay my greedy, lazy paws on but still. It's not like I'm living the green and healthy life either.
Maybe watching one of those disgusting "health" documentaries would be in order....They always creep me into living healthy at least for a little while...This needs to be thought about me thinks.

Yeah, but enough of this. Over and Out.

Shiny New Radical Layout!

Yes mortals...I did as promised and re-vamped this blog. Maybe the new green will inspire me to write. Let's hope so, shall we?

SO CHECK IT OUT!!!

Sunday, January 17th.

Hey. *insert embarassed grin here*.

So...what up? I know I've been absent, again. But life had been...strange and rather hectic. There are days when I feel like a mere spectator to my own life. Like I'm juts sitting/ walking next to me...observing my own body go on with its daily business...on autopilot. It' s a very strange and surreal feeling. But it's there. It's definitley there.

I'm thinking about fixing this blog ip again. New Year, new start, eh? It's going to be Re-Vamped (inside joke). New colours...new fonts...pictures...the lot of it. Dunno what yet but...You'll know when it happens. Honest.

Holy Sh*t...

...I can't believe it. Tomorrow we enter December. Christmas is like almost here! It's so weird. I can't wrap my head around it.

I've been so tired/hyper today. I dunno what's up with me....I think I'm high or something...sincerely.

Nothing more to write...Boring, I know.

Day 26 in which I beg for forgiveness...

I have been absent from the Blog-verse for a very (times eternity) long time now. Why, might be the proper question to ask. And I am sad to say that I don't really have a proper answer. I could blame it on work, I could blame it on my lack of interesting things to write about or I could tell you the truth. I have been lazy. I have logged onto blogger severeal times and have not managed to write anything. Dumbass.

So what has happened in my lack of blogging period...That didn't make any sense but please bear with me. Not much of interest actually. I have worked, thought about life and planning the upcoming wedding between Patrick Jane and myself. It is going very well, thanks for asking ( I am just going to assume that you were all asking me about that. Because we all know that you are dying to know about the wedding...sincerely.). Well I have found a Dress and it is damn beautiful. Honestly. While browsing the Wedding Verse on the Web I also found this really cool  CAKE. I really like love cake. Well...not cream cake...but this one seems really nice.

I also realized one thing...and lets not tell my future-husband-to-be this, Savvy? I might have an itsy bitsy tiny huge crush on one...Ben Barnes...I watched The Chronicles of Narnia; Prince Caspian (I KNOW! But come on I saw the first one...it was pretty cool so I had to see the sequel right?) (And by the by mr Barnes is on the cover...that alone was a reason to see it) and I instantly drooled over the prince of Narnia...Or rather the guy portraying him. One...Ben Barnes. One word mates. Gorgeous. Absolutely Drop Dead Gorgeous.

Am I righ or am I right?

And if the man looks like this when serious...just wait until he smiles....It was the smile that got me. Sincerely. It had me all wobbly kneed and googley-eyed(?).

My God. It's the eyes I tell you...Lets just not utter a word of this to Patrick...hehehe...right? *silence*....Right???!!!

Telephone Salesmen are...

...the freaking spawn of Belsebub (no Offence).

The thing is that yesterday I was waiting for a call from V and thinking that she was the one calling I answered without checking the "Caller ID". (Note to self: ALWAYS check the bloody ID).

To my great surprise a cheery voice asked me if I spoke swedish or finnish, I answered swedish, with a gleeful smile thinking this would lead to a short "ok, goodbye". (because most telephone-sales-people(wtf?) are really bad at my mother-tounge and don't even bother trying...) I was very much mistaken and plain wrong. Cheerily the woman on the other side of the line started to blab about internet pages this and that in perfect swedish(DAMNATION!)...

I kindly replyed; well I'm not really in any need of any Internet pages or...

She continued talking about it after I kindly declined my need for an Internet Page.

I don't know if it was my bored "Yes's", "No's" or non-commitical grunts that kept her going...

She talked and talked and talked...for about 17. something minutes, with me grunting in responce. When I was finally allowed to open my mouth I sort of lied and said that I didn't have time to talk anymore because I had to go to work...even if it was my day off. With a cheery goodbye and an annoyed bye from myself I promptly hung up.

How can they stay so damn cheery when the person they're talking to are just grunting and humming back? Why do they keep talking after the "NOT interested" has been uttered 5 times...why?

I do not know. But yesterday Telephone salesmen were numero uno on my "Spawn of Satan that simply needs to dissapear List"...Yeah. It's not a long list...but it excists.

Even if it was Johnny Depp calling me trying to sell me a pen I wouldn't have been happy (J.D. actually did that for a living for awhile...don't believe me? Google It.). Hence why I might have answered with a evil grumpy "What?" the next time my phone rang. Soo-rr-ee...

Over and Out.

090909<-Will The World End?

On Dates like this one I always expect for something absolutley brilliant, exciting and strange to happen...It never does. Here I sit expecting the world as we know it to end...and what happens? Nothing. Zip. Nada. Nothing.
What a dissapointment. Or maybe not...I like the world as it is right now.

So I've got not one but 2 whole Day's Off to look forward too...I am going to sleep. Yeah...sleep...mmm...I like nay love to sleep, who doesn't?

Well boring post, just felt like posting. Over and Out.

Listening To; Pearl Jam-Black

Dear…

So I posted my new chapter for my fanfic. And I seriously don't mind criticism but I got a very unpleasant review...and since it was anonymous, I decided to answer it here...This is the letter, dictated to my personal typer; The Leprechaun Freddie (picture coming soon).

Over and Out.